Tags
boys, disclipine, electronics, entertainment, family, iPod, Kids, media, Parenting, summer, television, trailer park, vacation, video games
This summer, I’m spending a lot of time (a really significant, nerve-fraying, facial tic causing amount of time) with the twins. Registration for the day-camp they’ve attended for the past few years conflicted with the last day of school (and work, for me) and they didn’t get in. So, here we are. Every. Day. God help me.
I feel like I live with two cranky old men, sitting around in their pajamas all day, eating Tastycakes and potato chips, watching television, and bitching at each other (and everyone else).
I’m pretty sure that, as a parent, I’m not supposed to let them live like this. But I have, for the past three weeks (except for dragging them to the swimming pool a couple of afternoons amid hostile protests). It’s becoming clear to me that I need to save them from themselves, as unpleasant as that is sure to be….for all of us.
We’ll start out small, tomorrow, — only one electronic device in use, per person, at a time. Hmmm. I don’t even know if I can do that, but I’ll try. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.
squirrel circus 
I thought I might actually die of laughter mid-way through the second paragraph.
Thanks! Awfully glad you stopped by….and didn’t actually die whilst reading my blog. 😉
Ok, I’ve done some research for you. According to my personal copy of the Geneva Conventions, you do have to feed them & give them potable water. The rest of it, I think got thrown out the window anyway, so don’t worry about it. Now, all boys like hiking right? How would the boys like an adventure? You could drop them off on the Appalachian Trial somewhere in Maryland. Tell them you’ll pick them up in Maine at the end of July. It won’t take long to prep for this adventure since they’ll probably only be able to carry 1 backpack each – so pack wisely & don’t eat all the food on the first day. Show them this sight of all the wonderful wildlife they might run into & I’ll bet they’ll either be packed by tomorrow morning or be happy to hang out at home quietly for the rest of the summer. But do point out that “most” of the snakes they’ll run into are non-poisonous (well, except for the ones that aren’t)… http://appalachiantrail.com/advice/animals-and-insects.html
You made my day!! So funny. Will print out the animals to avoid onto cards and laminate them for their “trip”. Your initial advice sounds shockingly similar to what Scott told me every day for the first few years….”as long as everyone is still alive at the end of the day, you’ve done a bang up job.” Some days…that’s all I could manage 😉
Oh did I mention that July is take your children to work month? Be sure to mention that to Scott. Good to laminate those animal cards in case of thunderstorms, hurricanes, falls in rivers.
Just one favor though. I want you to go into the kitchen right now & remove those new knives. Put them into the bank deposit box until school starts up.
Good point (get it? point? ha ha heh) I let Evan use one of the steak knives in the set to cut a chicken tender, and he cut through his paper plate. Youch!
Got it just as I’ve got scars from my set. Almost took off a finger & the ER guy says, “yeah it’s usually the left hand cause most people are righties”. Did not think of that but I guess it’s good if you chop off your non-dominant hand although tough to play the piano. Ok, way too far with the knives if the kids have them. Maybe let them chose 1 to take on their hiking adventure.
Maybe a giant forty-piece Swiss army knife!
omg, would they love that or what!!!! Oh don’t forget to give them a compass. North, then need to keep going basically north.
Between your post and the comments I fear I am now unable to work. I give thanks now for only having four-legged children. You are just hilarious! PS – my Dad spent most of my growing years trying to convince everyone to empty out their swimming pools. He was sure he was allowed to leave children in a pool, with the net over, if it was empty. His friends remain amazed at our ability to have grown up into reasonably normal adults.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂 I’m pretty sure I actually had a net… over my crib, at least. You’ve given me an idea for another post….the length we went to in order to keep the twins in their rooms at night, when they were babies and toddlers. Stay tuned!
omg…..dianeskitchentable’s suggestion!!! seriously! so funny…..
I know, she cracks me up!