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“What the hell, Mom?!”

“Why’d you stop so fast?!”

“Because a cat leaped out of those bushes and into the road in front of us.”

“Aw. A cat? Why didn’t you tell us there was a cat in the road?”

“Because so many of my brain cells were busy saying ‘Holy shit, a cat!’ on the inside, that I couldn’t say anything.” 

“It would have been nice to know that you were going to stop the car that fast.”

“Again. Slamming on the brakes and making a timely announcement about doing so are mutually exclusive activities.” 

“You could have at LEAST said, ‘hang on guys!’, like you do sometimes!”

“I say ‘hang on, guys!’ when I have the benefit of KNOWING what I plan to do; pulling out onto a busy street, for example. I can guarantee you that I had no idea that a feral cat was about to fling itself into the road.”

“But you did it twice!”

“Yes, yes, I did. The second time, the cat turned around halfway across the road and ran BACK in front of our car.”  

“At least it wasn’t a black cat.”


And……. the prosecution rests…..for now….