Tags
"Oops!", "What the Hell?", Alaska, Bahamas, family, Friends, geography, Greenland, Life, maps, Marriage, stats, vacations, wedding
The confession that I am about to make should come as no surprise to my family. I am geographically illiterate. My father blamed it on changes in the 4th grade curriculum that rendered the class of ’89 unable to label a map of the world. While I appreciate the out, it hardly explains why I used to get lost traveling the six miles from my first job to my house.
All excuses aside, the mistake that I made the other day was SHAMELESS. My dad undoubtedly rolled (while laughing) over in his grave.
I was reviewing the “stats” for Squirrel Circus one morning and proclaimed, to someone NOT looking at the following map, that I even had some visitors from Greenland! Really? It’s certainly possible…or IS it?
Yes, in one rush to judgement, I swept away the citizenship of our dear friends in Alaska AND shrunk Greenland significantly. Oops!
This recent map misstep reminds me of a similar gaff, almost 15 years ago, that a) proves that I am a lost cause (get it? LOST – ha ha) and b) my husband knew me TOO well, even then.
The friend throwing my bridal shower thought that it would be a cute idea to give Scott a list of questions to answer about me – that I would then have to answer, myself, at the shower. It would be fun(ny) to see how close our answers were.
In his absence, Scott was almost perfect, five questions in, when he batted THIS one out of the park… “What’s the furthest that Virginia has ever traveled from home?”
Without hesitating, I answered “The Bahamas!! Twice!”
His answer? “She’ll say “The Bahamas” because she thinks being out of the country makes it automatically further away. The correct answer is San Diego, where we vacationed last year.” DAMN! Needless to say, everyone at the shower had a huge laugh at my expense.
Anyone else have any embarrassing gaps in their knowledge base?
squirrel circus 
Too funny, don’t worry you are not alone. My wife does not do maps. Simple as that she says, she doesn’t do them.
Let’s just say that GPS has greatly enhanced my ability to arrive at my desired destination…
I’m just not a math person. Literally, I have to count on my fingers. It’s horrible. I just never understood numbers in my head. When it’s a story problem, like Sarah leaving Pittsburgh at 70 miles an hour meeting Bart from Miami at 60, some nonsense like that, I could always pull out the answer. But I need verification from others for 7+8. (15?).
Ha ha! I was always the kid who read too much into the word problems, like “but what’s the weather like in Pittsburgh when Sarah leaves?”
geography n Maths are both unknown to my highly developed brain 😛
I know I’ve got plenty of gaps in my knowledge base but as they say “you don’t know what you don’t know”. One thing I do know is I’ve always had a good sense of direction but my husband? Hopeless, absolutely hopeless and at current gas prices, it’s an expensive too. I think it’s genetic though & will never forget being in the car with my in-laws, John driving, me with printed directions on how to get to a church for a wedding. OMG, Italians screaming all kinds of directions, the worst being my MIL who never drove a day in her life. “Antoinette said to remember to take a right at a white house (blocks & blocks of white house), and then take a right or a left turn… no maybe she said there’d be a green house…” While I’m muttering…John take the goddamn turn up there, then a left or let me out before I shoot your mother.
Hilarious! I feel like I was in the car with you – it must have been crazy!!!
You cannot even imagine & there I was sitting with the easiest directions but John couldn’t hear half of them because of all the hollering going on in the back seat. Cripes, should have given my MIL some sacramental wine BEFORE leaving.