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Nothing gets the work week off to a great start like indulging in a little paranoid delusional thought process…… 

SO, I got to work and some kids were already in the library, looking for books. I logged in at the circulation desk and helped them find what they’re looking for (cause that’s what they pay me for *spoiler alert*). After the kids beat it left, I got on with my morning routine.

First sign that something is horribly WRONG — my Groupwise email login autofills with the name of our former librarian….who left our school for another job about a month ago. Wonder what SHE was doing here over the weekend. Okaaaayyyyy. Clear the form and log in to check my work mail. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Onto my REAL email –  and HOLD ON! – Since when is GMAIL a “restricted website”? Fine by me, I can ALWAYS get in through Google. And….it WON’T load. No warning message, just a frozen header.

I see what’s going on here….our former librarian was also our TECH integrator. “Someone” has figured out that I’ve been spending time every day on my email, and they called her back in specifically to firewall the shit out of my computer. Unbelievable! I feel violated!!!

Whoa! Better check WordPress….phew….www.wordpress.com totally loads — full of yummy Freshly Pressed goodness. All is right in the world. I’ll just log in here (tap..tap.. tappity… tap…and return!)…WHAT?! “Windows Explorer cannot load page”. Those bastards..they’re ON TO ME! Did they think I wouldn’t NOTICE! Do I SCARE you, gods of the firewall?!

The last thing I looked for was all of the pictures I had SAVED….for this blog….and I can’t even find the drive that I used. Just cut me off at the knees, why don’t you?

Now I’m really pissed.

That’s IT! I’m QUITTING. I don’t have enough actual work, four out of five days of the week. If you restrict my internet access, I will wither and DIE. The only tricky part will be explaining that I have to quit because my ability to SCREW AROUND AT WORK has been seriously compromised.

As I’m mentally composing my resignation letter, the light bulb goes off. With a BIG filament-busting bang. I was in such a rush to login this morning, I wonder IF I forgot to log in as the ADMINISTRATOR for the library network and signed in as a student (since I’m always helping them with the generic sign on) ….

YEP….there it ALL is….just like every other day. All is right with the world. I think I’m a little embarrassed.

And the punchline….wait for it…. I was RUSHING to log in because I was already ten minutes late for work.

I like to think that Employee-of-the-Year is still within my reach…