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My innermost circle of girlfriends and I established early on in our friendships that venting about our kids to each other was an inalienable right. Most importantly, we don’t have to start every bitch session with “I love my kids to death BUT” or “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so blessed, BUT.” Because, it’s understood. We know each other well enough that we would never question our individual willingness to lay down our lives for our kids. That doesn’t mean they aren’t a total pain in the ass on a daily basis. 

Just outside of the circle are friends that post comments on Facebook like, “Snow day! Can’t wait to make cocoa and cookies with the kids!” I’m not judging. If they’re literally thrilled with the thought of spending all day in the kitchen with their kids, fabulous. I like to cook with my kids. Who doesn’t like cocoa? That doesn’t change the fact that, to me, a snow day off from school means I’m going to be wanting to stick a fork in my eye by noon. My friends know that. They’re the ones texting at 6:30 am,  “kill me now!”

Last week, the boys accused me of liking the dog more than them (I just may have been babytalking to the dog). I quickly assured them that I love them dearly, I will ALWAYS be in their corner, and no one could love them more BUT….”the dog makes me happy.” After 9 years, I’m not about to start LYING to them NOW. He just does. He hasn’t rolled his eyes at me in over a month, and he’s NEVER told me he hated me. He also eats EVERYTHING I feed him (and some things I don’t).  It couldn’t hurt for them to start taking some pointers from the dog, as a matter of fact.

While “be more like the dog” is probably not an appropriate goal (nevermind that they’d probably focus on the less refined things he does), “be more respectful of your mother” would go a long way making our time together a little nicer. Don’t get me wrong……..